Conan and Leno: The Oldest Story Ever Told

Jimmy Fallon is somewhere off panel.



More stuff from John, which is usually the case if the comic is based on current events. We threw a few other betrayal ideas that didn't make it in, such as Lincoln's assassination, Cypher and Neo, and when Mario jumps off of Yoshi over a bottomless pit to reach the next platform.

As for my personal take on the whole Leno and Conan thing... idano. I watch Letterman.

Makes for a funny-a$s comic, though.

Lens Flare: The Movie

It's continuing mission: to make aware improper set lighting.



Even though he didn't give me a script like he usually does, this was pretty much John's idea. I'm sure everyone who's seen it noticed this, but there is a ridiculous amount of lens flares in the latest Star Trek movie, so much that it's comedic. There's almost more lens flares than there are scenes of Kirk being choked.

I woulda made this sooner, but my dad got the Star Trek DVD, not I. And I'm not gonna break open his DVD to pick out scenes to reference, so I had to wait until he opened it himself to watch it. And when I say he opened it, I mean Mom did.

Here's a version without the flares in case you're dying to see all the art and dialogue, but that kinda defeats the purpose:


I've never done Star Trek drawings before, so I sketched them out before hand. Since I ain't that good a caricatures, I normally go back and forth with John when I draw actors or other celebrities to get them right. But I didn't do it this time, only cuz of laziness. If you can't tell who's who, Spock has the pointy ears and Bones has the cringed face, cuz Bones is at his best when he has that kinda face.




Now, on to make "Kirk gets Chocked: The Movie."

Swine Flu

I think this is gonna be the next Pink Floyd single.



This is an idea John got a while back. He actually drew an image on a napkin when he thought of it:

With skills like that, I don't know why he insists on me drawing his ideas.

Take from this what you will, but I swear we aren't cop haters and we fully support and respect law enforcement. Heck, we have two cousins that are pigs... I MEAN COPS! They're cops! Donut eating pigs shouldn't be called cops. I mean... D@MMIT!

...erg...

OINKOINKOINKOINK!

Happy Birthday, Melissa!

Nothing could go wrong on this wonderful occasion!



Bah! Stupid Kanye! Keep your douche-baginess to yourself!

This is yet another comic written by John for a friend of his. He was quite particular about how Kanye looked and had me sketch him a few times before finalizing. One of these days I'm gonna make him rewrite a script just for the sake of making him do it over again. Then on the 10th draft, I'll say, "Actually, the the first one was the best. Let's go with that."

Then I'll wake up on a hospital bed with several cuts from a broken beer bottle on my neck.

Oh, and happy birthday again, Melissa!

Meet the New Boss

Same as the old boss.



Here's another comic written by John. Terrill (the one sporting the black cap) is one of his fellow asset protectors at Wal Mart, and according to him, Terrill's talk with a couple of wannabe shoplifters in the first three panels is exactly what went down in real life. The fourth panel seemed like a natural addition.

For this, I figured my usual cartoony style wouldn't fit, so I used a more edgey style with lots of straight lines and harsh corners. This was inspired by the 90's Batman animated series, which is one of the best shows ever made ever. If I ever need to draw edgey comics again, I'll just keep doing it the Batman way, as trying it on my own as I did with Ironic Commando makes for ho-hum results.

Llost

WARNING This comic contains foul language. If you take that kinda stuff seriously, then don't read. If you're like me and you think cursing is juvenile and hilarious, then read away.



Yet another strip written by my brother, then drawn by me as he sits back with his feet on the table and drinks champagne. Too much champagne, apparently. I personally don't get so "confused and angry" about Lost, as I don't make any attempt whatsoever to watch it. I suggest to John that he does the same.

The new guy is Bob. He's... like... fat, and stuff.

The Complete Ironic Commando

Now with a shiny, new, less sucky sixth page!










I figured putting all the pages together would make for an easier read. I apologize for the way my blog is putting my text along the side of the pages. If there's a way to put my typing below the pages, I don't know how. The new pages came when John said we had to give the title screen it's own page and "ham up" the the "NOO00!!1" part. Plus, it no longer looks like Nathan is telling the reader to stop in the name of love (check the post a couple weeks back to see the old version if ya don't know what I'm talkin about). Even though the comic isn't that long, I can see my drawing skill ever so slightly improving as I read them all together like this. No major improvements, it just went from feh to meh, but that's better than nothing.

Ironic Commando, Part 6 and 7

Suck it up, boy. Suck it up with a straw.





Thus concludes the the Ironic Commando comic. Is it ironic in any way that it was a game that John and I were playing the whole time? Maybe it's ironic that there's a comic in the first place, cuz I'm pretty sure I said to John, "Yeah right, you'll never write a spoof of Bionic Commando, and I'll never draw a comic for that spoof, on account of me just saying that you'll never write it."

*UPDATE* It has come John's and my attention that, in the top panel of page 6, Nathan looks like he's reacting to a camera falling on him rather than screaming in aguish about the horrible, horrible irony. A revision will be made probably some time next week.

Ironic Commando, Part 5

Oh boy. Oooooh boy. Here it comes.



Okay, I know this monotone thing seems ancient now cuz of last week's comic, but I firgured I should just keep with continuity, seein' as the comic's almost done. I believe I can finish it in one more outing, cuz there's only three more panels left, but it'll take two more pages cuz John want's them to be f***in' huge. And rightly so.

Ironic Commando, Part 4

How ironic that I would make two horizontal panels on this page after not making horizontal panels before in this comic. Especially since I said "I will never draw horizontal panels in this comic" beforehand.



There aint much to this page, as there's two panels with nuthin' but black. That coincided quite nicely with Christmas week, wherein I had little time to work. Paint bucket is my hero.

I guess we're at the halfway point of Ironic Commando. I think I can get the rest of John's script in three or four pages, unless he makes an alternate ending or something. The irony could be that Nathan wore his sunglasses when there's broad daylight. Wait, that's not ironic, it's just stupidity.

Ironic Commando, Part 3

Someone crack open a window, we're cookin' some irony.



This page is slightly better than the previous, probably cuz it has a female and they're more fun to draw. That, and it has blood and bone crushing in it. Still kinda wonky though. Look how weird Nathan's back looks in the third panel. What's that?! That's crap! If he had a bean shaped body and were two and a half heads tall, I'd make him look freakin' adequate!

Ironic Commando, Part 2

The eventual irony might be a coincidence.



GOD, drawing guns and perspective is so hard for me. And I believe John had this in mind when he wrote the Ironic Commando script. I'm sure he's laughing manically about it right know, with the exuberance of that guy that sends you to hell in Doom 3.

But drawing a figure that's pointing and yelling makes it all worth while.

Ironic Commando, Part 1

Don't worry. You'll laugh your A$S off when you read the last page.



This is the first of a potentially five or six part comic written by my brother, John, aka Jazz, aka Jazz Man, aka the Jazz Hole, aka Reason, aka the Reasonist, aka the original Ironic Commando, aka Drooly McGee, aka Corporal Flashback, etcetera, etcetera. He's a much better writer than me, and I'm a much better drawer than him, so it balances out or something.

Unfortunately, neither of us are good at coloring.

I'm gonna alternate between doing this and my usual comics until this is done. I've never drawn more comic book type figures, so forgive me if these guys look cartoony or wonky. I guess I can consider this practice.